Decoding How Men Communicate In Relationships

We look at how taking words at face value can reduce drama, why silence is not a weapon, and how different processing styles shape what we hear and say. We share practical cues for timing, texting, and clarity so small moments don’t turn into big fights.

• face value as a working rule for men’s communication
• owning over-detail and the apology that resets trust
• direct texts versus romantic language and mismatched replies
• the nothing box, mental load and switching contexts
• asking for attention before big questions during work
• silence as processing, not rejection
• external versus internal processing and how to label it
• translating implication into clear asks that land
• when to call instead of text to fix tone
• decoding “fine” and making needs explicit

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Welcome to Relations Smith. I'm Jamie Smith here with my awesome wife, Stacy.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

Hey everyone, this podcast is a space where we share our relationship and the conversations we're having. Sometimes about hard things, sometimes about lighter ones, and always with the goal of staying connected.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Staying connected. So, my love, we were talking earlier about some stuff. And the what stemmed the conversation was something you said earlier. You wanted me to talk to a friend of mine about something. And I'm like, Wow, what basically I was thinking, I didn't really say it out loud, but I was you were actually probably thinking it in your head. He's probably wondering why I don't just say it to him. Yes. And uh and then you said, you know, how is it isn't like the man code or I said I don't I don't know what the man code on this is. And I was like thinking to myself, I don't think there's a man code, but okay, sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Well, I just sometimes I think that men just wouldn't you just wouldn't say it to each other.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Yeah, we just grunt and go, you just or you just let it be. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

It was I I feel like can what I can just say what it was.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

Yeah. I mean, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

But anyway, so uh That's Jamie turning over a new leaf. Less is more, less is more.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

I do have to say something. There are a couple things from our last podcast I do have to say. So I talked about the fact that Stacey likes to give a lot of detail to stories. And I and she afterwards, which is true when it comes to her dreams, but when it comes to conversations, she she does like to keep the bare minimum. And I was being generalized, I was being I was having this general thought, and it's most men when they tell stories, they don't give a lot of, they just give the bullet points, and that's it. I'm not most men. And she tried to call me out on that, and I was like, no, no, that is wrong. That is wrong.

Owning Over-Detail And An Apology

SPEAKER_02 2:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

And then I listened back to this podcast for last week, and I was I sent her a text right away. I said, Oh, by the way, I'm sorry, you were right.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

I said, Of course, about what?

SPEAKER_01 2:40

No, yeah, no, after the And it annoyed me so much of how much detail I was giving on certain things. I mean, when I was talking about my truck, you said, Yeah, you have a big truck. I'm like, Yeah, I have a Dodge Ram rebel. And she's like, Yeah, I know. I was kind of surprised you didn't give the year make and or year uh color and what size tires, blah, blah, blah. I was like, Yeah. And I I just the more I listened, the more I was like, like appalled with myself on how much information I kept giving. Like, oh, and and our son, yeah, our son Tristan, and da da da. She's like, she's she's even looking at me like, okay, why so much information?

SPEAKER_00 3:27

After after we stopped recording, I looked at you and I said, I cannot believe that you said that I give so much information, yeah, so much detail. And he was like, Well, I only give highlights, and I was like, No, you don't. No, go listen to yourself. Yeah.

What Men Are Really Thinking

SPEAKER_01 3:46

I mean, a podcast that probably could have been about 35 minutes was a 55-minute podcast because of all the detail. Now, granted, I'm a storyteller by heart. Um, but that's my nature, right? And I write songs, I like, you know, I love stories that are very detailed. I mean, that's how my imagination is. So for me, yes, that makes sense. And I'm not trying to defend myself, but I am apologizing because I denied the fact that that I'm that way. And I know, I know when everyone listening was listening to that too, where they're like, no, we pretty much know everything about you. Just been one podcast. So yeah, anyway, so that kind of leads to this whole idea of what guys are thinking, right? What are they really thinking? You wrote down some ideas earlier, and you want to just run them by me and we can just elaborate on them?

SPEAKER_00 4:44

Sure. So actually, what I was I I was thinking about was I feel like I have a special skill for just speaking man. In the sense, and here's what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

I this is why we get along so well because you you I think you cracked the code.

SPEAKER_00 5:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

You might have cracked the code.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

So this is this is the what it is. Men are face value.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

That's it.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Yeah, and so so whatever they say to you, you can take it at face value. There there's no there's no scheme, there's nothing underneath it, they're not they don't interpret it. They mean what they said.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

That's it.

Face Value As A Communication Rule

SPEAKER_00 5:37

And also, they are taking they are taking you, men meaning men are taking women generally. This is a generalization. They are taking you what you say at word at face value.

SPEAKER_02 5:51

Right.

SPEAKER_00 5:52

So they're not going to read into it, they're not gonna interpret what you mean, they are going to expect that you said what you meant and you meant what you said.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

For the most part, yes. Yeah, yeah. I think there are times and situations. I think that when we were first dating, I tried to figure out what you were saying because you're that way when you send texts, you are very general, and I think because you've cracked a man code, I'm not used to that, and so it kind of got re role reversal in essence.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

Well, I'm I'm a very direct person. Yes, that is true. So my communication style is direct to the point, and in fact, when I moved to the south, I had to learn how to soften that a little bit, like especially like in emails. Oh, yeah. And and we're at work and like, how's your mom? How's the kids? And then say what I need. But it's thank God for that unsend button that you have on your emails. I use that many times a day because I'll just like type the email to say exactly what I need and then pull it back to add the like, hey, hope you're doing well piece. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

So yeah. No, I remember when we first started dating, man, uh, you know, you know, and you guys have heard it. Uh I was just so, and I still am, but I was so like blown away by you, and and you know, again, I like to write songs. Uh I'm a I'm a hopeless romantic. You are. I'm a yeah. And so I would write these texts to you every morning. Every morning. Good morning, gorgeous. You are the light of my life, and blah, blah, you know, and I would just go on with the stuff, and I would get this thumbs up.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

No. Or a heart. A heart. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

You know, and I'm like, that's it. That's all I get.

SPEAKER_00 8:09

Yep. That's all you get.

Direct Texts, Romance, And “Same”

SPEAKER_01 8:11

I'm like, dang. She couldn't even say anything. Okay. I love you with all my heart. Love you too.

SPEAKER_00 8:22

What the heck? I was not gonna perform. Yeah, no. That's me. That's what you get. I'm direct to the point.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

Here's the greatest one. Babe, I love you so much. I'm so thankful for you. You have changed my life. Same.

SPEAKER_02 8:48

Yeah.

The Nothing Box And Mental Load

SPEAKER_01 8:49

This is BS, man. But that was early on in our relationship. Now I do it back to her. She'd be like, honey, I miss you. I'll be at work, and she'd be like, honey, I miss you. I'm like, same. And I don't mind. And she don't mind. But that's the thing. In the beginning, I had to try to figure out what more are you trying to say? Right? And you weren't you weren't saying anything. I'm like, this is this is great. Because I don't have to explain myself. You know, like yesterday, perfect example. You and I, we I got home, and I had been at work all day long. I came home and you give me a really big hug, and you know, we see each other. We well, every time we see each other, it was like the first time we've seen each other in years, and we hug each other, and you're you're like deep into my chest with a hug, and you're like, What's that smell? And you started smelling me, and I'm like, What is she smelling? You're like, that smells like some another woman, and I was like, Whoa, wait, no, no, no, that's not another woman. You're the only other, you're the woman, you're the only woman. And I and I started thinking in my head, was I around anybody else at work? No, there was nobody at work except Tony, and I didn't hug him. And you know, and I started kind of going through, and she just looked at me, she goes, It's okay. I I'm just messing with you. She said, It's probably my hair or something that got in your your you know, shirt or your neck or whatever. And I was like, Okay, okay. But I just felt like, what, what in the heck? I I don't want her thinking that you know I was hugging somebody else or whatever. She's like, calm down, it's all fine, nothing's wrong. I'm like, oh, okay. But but yeah, that's that's kind of the the the thing, right? Is that sometimes it's just it's you know, for me, it has been refreshing to know that I'm not having to answer to anything because I say it and you're like, okay. Yeah, yeah, you know, there's no there's no hidden agenda.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

Right.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

There's no, you know, we talked about the memes earlier, the ones that are so funny about the the guy, the woman and the man laying in bed, and the woman's looking over with this mad look, and she's like, I wonder he's probably thinking of another woman right now, and then he's thinking of like the quantum physics of why Legos fall a certain way off the staircase or something. Just something so random and silly. But that's kind of what we think, right?

SPEAKER_00 11:35

Yeah. Well, I mean it's that quintessential, like a w the woman asks the man, What are you thinking? and he says, Nothing, and she's like, You can't be thinking nothing.

SPEAKER_01 11:44

Yeah. Yeah. Well I shared with you and I can't remember the name of the pastor, but it he was this he was talking about marriage, and he was talking about women's brains and men's brains. Men's brains are like boxes, they're like these sections, and we have to go one section at a time, and women's brains are like spaghetti, and they're like everything is intertwined and everything means something, they're all together. Oh yeah. And yeah, and and when when the guy says, she says, What are you thinking? and he says, Nothing, honestly, we're thinking nothing. I mean, it's I mean, we might be thinking of something sometimes, but when we say nothing, it's really not that important because it probably is about a Lego that was a weird color. Nothing worth saying out loud. Nothing worth saying out loud.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

Versus to your point about the spaghetti, I know I used to when someone would ask me what I'm thinking, you know, at least three things always. At least three things at once. Right. Right, right. And you know you could ask me at any time, what are the top three things you're thinking about? And I could say, boop, boop, boop, boop. I I could name them off.

Work Focus Versus Home Talk

SPEAKER_01 13:00

You say, What are the top three things you're thinking about? And I'm like, three? Yeah. I barely have one thing I'm thinking about. I mean, unless it's during the work day, right? If it's work, I'm thinking like this morning. It's a funny story. So I first thing I do, I get up and I went and I sat at my desk, I cranked up the computer, I turned it on, and she goes to her computer and she turns her computer on, and I said, Oh my gosh, I have zero emails. Oh wow, that that means it's the calm before the storm. This is crazy. I mean, I usually have like between 20 to 100 emails when I log in, and I had zero, and I started wondering if something was wrong with the computer or whatever. So, anyway, so she's like, Wow, that is crazy. So she started working, I started working, and then she just starts rambling on about different things. She starts asking me questions. She started saying, Oh, look, what about this? And I'm like, I wasn't listening. And she's like, Babe, what about this?

SPEAKER_00 14:09

And I'm like, Rambling, I was rambling on.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Okay, wrong choice of words.

SPEAKER_00 14:17

I said when I sat down, I said, There are some things that came up yesterday while you're at the office that I want to share with you.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

Yeah. And that's what I started sharing. But she didn't ask if I was busy.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

Because you said you had zero emails.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

And I said, and then so I'm sitting there, I'm working. Emails is not my job. Emails is a third of my job. So I'm working, and she starts asking saying all this stuff and asking me questions, and I'm really half butt listening. I'm really not even like listening because I didn't know she was gonna dive right in. Because I can I can hear her and respond to most things, but man, she was like asking me like really poignant question about cheekwood.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

Anyway, so yes, we're going again.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

So, yes, on nerd day.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

And there's no mud available for you to roll around in.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

No, you didn't catch what I said. I did, I heard you say on nerd day. Okay, so and I will explain in a minute, but anyway, I stopped and I said, babe, I said I had zero emails. I didn't say had zero work. Can you wait a second? And I finished what I was doing, then I'd spun the chair around. I'm like, okay, what is it that you need from me? And then we started talking. But that's the thing. When I'm work, when when we are working, I probably got eight different things going on at the same time. But when I'm vegging, even if I'm watching some stupid video on a reel or whatever on Instagram, there's no thought.

SPEAKER_00 16:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

Nothing's going through my head.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

Well, and it's not to say that men can't have deep thoughts. No, exactly. Or that they're superficial. Yeah. That's not at all.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

I contemplate stuff all the time.

SPEAKER_00 16:14

Yeah, yeah. It's just that most of the time men just think out about one thing at a time.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

And women think about many things at once. And I think that's part of what makes it such a good partnership. Right. It's not one is not, I don't think, better or worse than the other.

Silence, Processing, And Rebooting

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Although some of my thoughts go from here and end up in left field and the trail that it goes through, I'm not thinking all of those things at the same time, but I'm going through a whole scenario. I I'll tell her, you know, you'll never believe how I got to this.

SPEAKER_00 16:48

Yeah, we all do.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

And I think that is so funny. But yeah, and I love how he said that sometimes when we are in this one box, even if it is the nothing box, and you start wanting to talk about this and how it affects us, you have to kind of wait for us to reboot. Yeah, we we have to put that box back in its in its section and then pull out the box that is active listening to whatever it is you're asking or wanting to talk about. But I know I do that I'm not you.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

I was about to say that's not just exclusive to men. That happened today. You wanted I was really concentrating on something, and you were asking me, I think, where where I wanted to go for dinner on Sunday.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Here it goes. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

And I was like, I I can't think about that right now.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

Uh so yeah, so one thing I've learned with Stacy since we've been together is that if I do not have your devoted attention and your eyes on me, you might not even heard what I said, and you might just be generally responding to anything.

SPEAKER_00 18:09

Oh, yeah, if I'm working, I I'm very focused when I'm working sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 18:14

Yeah, because we'll be in a conversation, I'll be like, later on. And you'll be like, We talked about that? Like, yeah, you even said okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:25

Well, not that we talked about it, but you told me. You told me that?

SPEAKER_01 18:29

Yeah. And I'm like, yes, and you even responded with okay, that's fine. And you're like, no, and I'm like, wait. I didn't have your full attention. Yeah. Well, there it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

But so yeah, so not that, you know, like I said, not that men are superficial, but but I know I definitely have gotten to help some friends out with that. I you know, one girlfriend spent many hours on the phone with her, you know, when she we were in in the dating world, and you know, to texts that she would get from guys or not get from guys, and just, you know, she would just go down a rabbit hole.

SPEAKER_01 19:12

Yeah, read into them.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

Yeah, read in so much read into it so much about what he said or what he didn't say or what what is he doing or what is he thinking, or just and uh just so much of my time with her was spent saying, nope, that's nope, that's not nope. Nope. That is not he's not thinking that. He's not he's he meant what he said and nothing more or less.

External Vs Internal Processing

SPEAKER_01 19:39

Right, right. Yeah, yeah, we like to be very direct, and just because I I think in some respects we we don't we the drama is what we just don't want, and so we just like to call it like we see it, say it like how we feel, whatever's coming on our minds, say it, and then the response afterwards, right? And then sometimes it might not be what what you wanted to hear, so we say it, and then this whole thing happens, and then you're in your head you were thinking to yourself, I probably should have said that a different way, or I should have kept my mouth shut because that's not what I meant.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

I want to know uh there there's something another thing that I practice and I want to know if you've noticed it, and if you have if it if it meant anything to you. Okay, which is not rushing in to fill the silence.

SPEAKER_01 20:47

Yeah, you know, you've done that. I'm I'm bad about filling this the the silence, right? And I've learned from you actually is to just hold on.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

It's hard to do.

SPEAKER_01 21:09

Oh, it's so hard, especially for a talker like me. I mean that awkward silence. Sometimes I have to say, hmm, that's some awkward silence, you know, or something to fill the the space. What I've learned is that people are just we're all built differently, right? But some people just need time to contemplate, to kind of run through their head what was just asked. I I know one of our sons is is like that, that when you ask him a question, you kind of just need to give him that space to be able to think through what he's gonna say, and then he says it, right? It's not one of those things where he just blah blah blah blah. I mean that's That's me. You ask me a question, and I'm like sitting there like ready to figure out the answer, and I'll fill in with a let me see. Well, maybe if I you know, you know, there there's no silence with me. But noticing that I'm doing the exact same thing he is, but I'm just filling it the space, it actually helps me think through it.

SPEAKER_00 22:23

You know what you just made me think of?

SPEAKER_01 22:24

What?

SPEAKER_00 22:25

External processing versus internal processing.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:30

So are so you would would you say you're an external, definitely. Interesting.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:35

I don't know why I never really thought about it.

SPEAKER_01 22:37

Yeah, I I think about everything out loud. You know, I try to explain stuff as I'm thinking, even to by myself. And Eric's like that. Uh one of our sons, he's like that. You'll hear him upstairs, and oh, and my other son Joshua, he's like that too. You'll hear them talking to themselves in their room, and you're thinking, who are they talking to? And it literally is them trying to work through, and I'm that same way, work out or talk through because sometimes it's better to talk to ourselves about things before we actually say it to someone else. That way it doesn't come out sounding unintelligent. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 23:24

Or not or not what you meant.

Translating “Girl Language” To Direct

SPEAKER_01 23:26

Right, right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because I mean I've been accused a lot in my past of saying things right off the cuff and it not coming out right, and that's not what I meant, and da da da, you know, and so I've kind of gotten in my old age, I've finally got to the point where I just I have to say it out loud to myself and talk it through. And even when you're asking me a question and I don't necessarily talk it through to myself, but if you're still there, I'll talk it through while you're there. So you'll you'll hear me say that. And I know you have heard me like, well, let me see. If I'm thinking of it like from this point of view, then maybe if but if I'm putting myself in your shoes, then maybe so um, yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

See, I'm the opposite. I'm a definitely an internal processor. Yeah, and what's interesting about that is that I feel like that gets has gotten me in trouble sometimes where people don't realize that that's what's going on, and I just look mad. Yeah. But you're just thinking. I'm just thinking. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:42

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, so I think that's that is one of the uh for me that helps me process. And it also helps me stay out of trouble.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

So do you think that I mean, did I so did I really crack the code? Is that really would you say that's true of most men or just some men or of what?

SPEAKER_01 25:05

Just that you could take what they say base value, there's no generally speaking underlying unless there's scars, right? Unless there are things from their past that have been triggered by a certain question and they have to answer it a certain way and keep any uh other type of emotion in, because there is that, right? But generally speaking, if you ask a question and I answer it very here it is, you could take it for face value. Because and and to be honest with you, in a work day, if you're asking me a question, whether it be text or phone or whatever, you ask me the question, I'm thinking about work, so I'm going, yes, that's fine.

SPEAKER_00 26:01

Yeah, quick.

SPEAKER_01 26:02

And then it's I'm done. I'm not even thinking about what you asked. Because once I say yes, that's fine, it's resolved in my head.

SPEAKER_00 26:10

Right.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

There's no reason to even go back to it. Yeah. Like if I come home after I said yes, that's fine, and you go, Well, I didn't do it because I was wondering what I mean, you don't do that, but if you if I did come home and you were like, Well, I didn't do it because I wasn't sure if your yes, fine was yes, that's okay, or sure if I have to do it right now. No, I said, yes, fine. Yeah, that means do it.

SPEAKER_00 26:36

Yeah, that wasn't a passive aggressive.

When To Call Instead Of Text

SPEAKER_01 26:38

Not passive aggressive at all. Not not to say that there's not passive aggressive men out there, but they're there or I've had moments where I've been passive aggressive, but in those moments, and and I'll just kind of like quote it like like they used to say, you know, in church, you know, let your yes be yes, let your no be no. You know, you know, when I say something, when I when you ask me a question, I answer it, I'm done. That's the answer.

SPEAKER_02 27:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

You know, unless you give me options. And then I gotta think it through, and then I'll be talking to myself. But what about that one instance with your other friend and her husband?

SPEAKER_00 27:22

Oh, I know. So I wish I kind of wish I could turn it into like a some kind of like service, like like send me send me the text that you got. Right. And I'll tell you what he's really saying, and then I'll help you, you know, construct a response. Yeah. I did get to do that. I did get to do that with a friend of mine. We were on a trip and her husband texted her something, and and she, you know, kind of got upset about it. And I wish I I don't remember the details, but sh sh I I remember the situation that she got upset about it because she was reading into it something.

SPEAKER_02 28:05

Right.

SPEAKER_00 28:05

And I you know, she showed me, Can you believe this? Look what he said, and and I just got to say, No. I don't think I don't think he's saying what you're you think he's saying. He said this, this is what he meant. He really just meant this. Right. And so then she was constructing a response, and she said, Well, how what do you think about this response? And I was like, I don't think he's gonna understand what you're really trying to say if you send that. Because she was saying it in girl language, right?

SPEAKER_01 28:39

Right?

SPEAKER_00 28:39

Like quote unquote girl language compassion and and well, and and some implication there were some implications and some interpretation there, and so she said, Well, what should I say? So we worked together on it, and I helped her construct a text that said what she meant, but said it in a way But removed all of that emotion from it. Well, not that it has to be void of emotion, right? But but in a way that it it said what she meant directly.

SPEAKER_02 29:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:18

But without yeah, without inferring anything. Right. Right. So so it it again said what she meant, but in a way that was not inferring anything.

SPEAKER_01 29:37

And so how do you resume?

SPEAKER_00 29:38

Yeah, so sent the text and he came back with okay, and did the thing that she wanted him to do. Actually, I think went a little bit above and beyond what she had wanted him to do.

SPEAKER_01 29:53

Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:55

So it landed, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:56

Yeah, yeah.

“Fine,” Misreads, And Clear Requests

SPEAKER_00 29:57

And so I do know that I also, you know, when I'm talking and especially in text, text is always so hard because you can't it's hard to interpret tone, we all know that. But I try to be careful to say, you know, what I mean, and I try not to interpret the response to have a deeper meaning, like you say like you mentioned earlier. It's not passive aggressive.

SPEAKER_01 30:30

Yeah, exactly. I mean, we've dealt with plenty of people here and now and then and later in our life that it just a text or an email even has gone out of control just because something was said and that's not what it was meant.

SPEAKER_00 30:50

Yeah. Well, I think to that, if you're if there's ever a doubt, you gotta pick up the phone.

SPEAKER_01 30:56

But Yes. But I think it's Well, even in speech, something can mis be missed. I mean, we hear the jokes, right? We hear the jokes about, you know, when a woman says, fine.

unknown 31:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:12

Which we don't have time for that. We'll have to dive into that one next week. I told her I was like, yeah, we'll talk about what goes on in the man's brain, you know, and and that thought process, and it'll take one episode. And then next week we'll do a three-hour episode on what goes on in a woman's brain and how to decipher that. And yeah, and guys, I still haven't figured that out, but I have the perfect wife to figure it out with.

SPEAKER_00 31:37

Yeah, I don't know if I'm gonna be a Cree resource for that.

SPEAKER_01 31:41

No, but seriously, in in all jokes, is well, you know, the joke is that when a woman's mad, she doesn't necessarily say it, she'll be like, uh fine. And so, oh, and those are some of the jokes where the guy goes, Okay, cool, fine.

SPEAKER_00 32:00

And then he's like takes her at her at face value. You said you were fine.

SPEAKER_01 32:04

Yeah, and then she's like, I can't believe you went. And he's like, Well, you said fine. You said you were fine. And so there has to be this whole new dictionary and play playbook on how to figure out what she's actually saying.

SPEAKER_00 32:19

Well, I just want to encourage the women out there to try to adjust. If if you're the if you haven't already yet, yes. Try to ad try to remember that he d he doesn't mean anything deeper. And he also is gonna believe that you don't mean anything deeper. So if you do, you have to say it. Yes. You have to say it.

Encouragement, Q&A Invite, And Wrap

SPEAKER_01 32:45

Say it. Say it. Just say it. Say it. Well, thanks for spending time with us today. If there's something from this conversation that resonated with you, then give us a a follow and a like on Instagram or Spotify or even Apple Podcast. And even drop us a comment if you want. We'll read it and we'll uh even maybe talk about it online.

SPEAKER_00 33:09

Yeah, that'd be great.

SPEAKER_01 33:10

Yeah. Also, if there's things that you guys want us to talk about, maybe some subjects, maybe some hard ones, maybe some yeah, questions. We we would love to do a podcast on based on questions. Yes, that would answer them. Ask anything. Doesn't mean we'll answer it, but ask anything. Uh so anyway, we'll be back real soon with another conversation. Until then, take care, and thanks for listening to Relations.

SPEAKER_00 33:37

Bye everyone, you can do it.